Friday 4:00AM

I am blown away by the advertising onslaught and the store openings announced for 4:00AM on "Black Friday". How do retailers get employees to come in for an opening bell at 4:00AM?

What time must employees arrive, in order to be at the ready, smiling, greeting customers with "Ka-ching, ka-ching, it's time to make our registers ring!"

Do retailers pay employees extra for coming in to work hours before the crack of dawn?

And what about the pajama party at the Huntley Outlet Mall? Shoppers in pajamas? I never thought of myself as a prude, but isn't it more than a little ridiculous to incentivize customers to go outside their homes in pajamas?

What would happen if all the retailers just agreed among themselves to open at 9:00AM? Would the anti-trust people jump into the fray?

But then you'd have the blackguards who would nod their heads in agreement and open at 4:00AM, anyway, smirking and whispering (or shouting), "Fooled you!"

Even better, what if the customers just stayed away until 9:00AM?